A Cookie to Munch On

[Published late. Sorry.]

Orio and me talked and ranted kanina. Grabe. Let me rant here din.

Second year life is evidently getting to me. Every day that passes, I become more irritable, unbearable, paranoid, and psychoanalytical (wait...is that even a word?). F**kin' world.

Entering Pisay, upon reflection, was the best mistake I ever made in my life (according to Orio) - and I regret making that mistake. [Don't understand? Stop reading. You'll just find everything else I write unreasonable and stupid. Don't judge me by what I write here. I do not hate Pisay life - I just know what it is to me now.] I should have known from the beginning that life in Pisay is no different from life in any high school - in ways, the scholar life is even much worse. No wait, let me say that again - the scholar is even much worse. Pisay people, with all their intelligence and superhuman abilities, are worse than most other youths our age (most - I'm still predisposed to hate a few certain high schools). I won't rant anymore about it - but being psychoanalytical (there I go again) I'll just list down what I've observed so far. And I admit that most of the time I am part of these disgusting behaviors - I just want everyone to know how I disgust myself.
  1. A hierarchy in any social structure, most especially in high school, can never disappear.
  2. People, by themselves, are insecure, pathetic, and vulnerable. They hide these weaknesses by exposing the weaknesses of others.
  3. When a person asserts himself or herself, mayabang daw siya. When he/she withdraws, wala raw siyang kwenta. Leaders are scorned, followers are maltreated.
  4. People are worse in groups. There is always an ugly common factor that binds a social clique or so-called barkada together - this explains high-profile people, collective machismo, mob mentalities, and the like. You, your "friends" and your classmates are all together because you are wrong in one way or another.
  5. During second year people are way more disagreeable, selfish and bitchy towards each other. Why? People want to ensure that they get into third year - they don't care if the people around them fail.
  6. Certain people dictate society. These are the people who think anything they say goes; the people who think that the world revolves around and follows them.
  7. Unstable people nowadays only depend on the following: food, addictions, and other equally unstable people.
  8. Many try hard to be something they aren't. And those who are able to do it look stupid.


Them and their toilets

I expected China to be a whole lot of things - evidently Communist, evidently disciplined, evidently developed, etc. But when we stepped out on Xiamen International Airport, the first thought that came to my mind was "Did we even leave??"
Xiamen, China looks and feels very much like Cebu City or Subic Bay. The air, the space, the fairly clean and green streets; nothing (save the strange text and language) was really different from the Philippines. Or so I thought at first.
Staying at the Xiamen Middle School #8 (it reminds one of a college or university; Miriam was probably that big), we grew accustomed to their strange but okay food (though duck is horrible), their customs, their culture, their odd language (ni hao ma?), their wild weather (from flash flood area to desert in four hours), their difficult currency, and many more unexpected things. Choirs of different nationalities inhabited the not-so-humble dorms of the school; among them Russians, Croatians, New Zealanders, South Africans, Swiss, Indonesians, and of course, Filipinos. Our tour guides (Teresa, Shadow and Sissy - their English names) and event volunteers helped us during our 7-day stay, and even brought us to the beautiful Gu Lang Yu island... (did I say it right?)
Probably the only downside of the whole thing was having to leave. I enjoyed myself, even if we did only get a bronze medal in Category 4 and a silver diploma in Category 25. On that plane leaving for Manila, I wondered if I could have stayed longer. Missing my closest friends, I would not have gone back to the Philippines, but I would brought them to Xiamen to experience it all with me.
Their toilets aren't bowls. They're basically holes with running water. o_O


Poem Post 5: A Noble Dream

This is the story of a Boy and Girl
Who shared a noble dream
Dreamed for the world, the two youths did
Determined to live it, they seemed

They both believed they could fix the world
A world destroyed by war
A world of weapons, lies and hate
Of nations gone too far

Boy and Girl had never met
Neither knew the other
Boy had lost his Mom and Dad
Girl had lost her brother

Both too young to join the fight
Both too old to cry
They learned to live in a world destroyed
They watched how others die

So Boy and Girl stood up to act
The two began to lead
They stirred the hearts of people
They let their courage bleed

Boy preached nobly with his heart
Spoke with a striking blow
He gave speeches to the masses
And let his message flow

Girl spoke to the people, too
But with words on published print
Her pen was her great weapon
Writing was her stint

So Boy and Girl rose up the ranks
For influence led to power
The seeds of their planted message
Grew and began to flower

It seemed that with them in place
The war long-drawn would end
But the story is not over, no
Far from it, reader friend

For Boy believed in one thing
Girl believed another
Their minds and hearts did not agree
And then they met each other

Boy told Girl of his own plan
But Girl just shook her head
Then Girl asked Boy to read her words
Boy just cursed instead

In Boy's hands was half the world
In Girl's the other part
They told their people to fight for peace
To give their soul and heart

Boy forgot about his dream
To make the whole world better
And in Girl's words the dream was gone
Not in a single letter

Dear reader friend, I hope you wait
For another tale unfurls
It is about the noble dream
Of another Boy and Girl.


Long time gone, long time dead

Damn. No one ever told me it'd be this hard to get through second year. Frustrating, tiring, irritating, stupid... How else can I describe the 3-5 hours of sleep every night (5-6 on weekends), the twenty-something requirements we have each week, the hurting back and throbbing migraine...f*ck. Sorry for using profanity, but it's the only way to say it. F*ck.

Never mind posting anything relevant, I'm just so stressed. Sorry. Here's a poem I think I made during Chem and Art. Hmm. Some of you have read this before.

As the sun's dance ends in a slumber long
Then begins love's melodious song

On lovers two the moonlight's gleam
Forbidden to meet but free to dream
Their hands in each other's, and their heads side by side
One of the crests of love's rising tide

Treading lightly on freshly cut grass
The night sky smooth like a sheet of black glass

Two lovers with only two hearts
Two lovers beginning brand new starts
Two lovers containing only newfound bliss
Two lovers lean in for their first kiss.