Not just for the sake of anything

525600 minutes, 365.25 days, 1 year. 58 posts, 12 months; 80 comments, hundreds of tags.

Inkblotter has survived me, ignorance, spiteful readers, deletion, and abandonment. It has undergone layout changes, post deletions, text resizing, font changes, subtitle switches, and interface upheavals. It has gone through good blogs, bad blogs, pointless blogs, and beautiful blogs in the world of blogging.

It has gone through two halves of school years, a Christmas, a birthday, a clearance week, a summer vacation. It has gone through two Christmas parties, two fairs, one school, two sections, hundreds of people, tons of friends, several enemies, and millions of unknowns.

It has gone through my moods: distressed, touched, accomplished, predatory, pessimistic, nerdy, hungry, cheerful, high, amused, disappointed, cold, sore, grumpy, mellow, irate, pleased, productive, tired, ditzy, energetic, exanimate, full, crazy, indifferent, thirsty, apathetic, peaceful, happy, sympathetic, nostalgic, contemplative, pensive, loved, listless, rejuvenated, flirty, crushed, angry, horny, bitchy, sick, exhausted, irritated, refreshed, sleepy, pissedoff, numb, cynical, thankful, surprised, embarrassed, moody, weird, good, frustrated, cranky, ecstatic, morose, naughty, hopeful, bored, lazy, jubilant, complacent, crappy, satisfied, envious, dirty, chipper, giggly, uncomfortable, okay, artistic, dorky, blah, geeky, discontent, blank, busy, indescribable, creative, awake, recumbent, jealous, rejected, melancholy, content, nauseated, enraged, excited, hyper, curious, determined, silly, infuriated, restless, optimistic, calm, aggravated, working, impressed, thoughtful, rushed, sad, intimidated, stressed, giddy, nervous, drained, lethargic, hot, bouncy, devious, relaxed, shocked, relieved, lonely, scared, enthralled, quixotic, confused, worried, mischievous, annoyed, groggy, depressed, guilty, gloomy, anxious, drunk, grateful.

It has gone through my experiences both painful and healing, through the distrust, mistrust, and trust, through the lies, untruths, misunderstandings, truths and fakery, through the backstabbing, backbiting, fights, double-crossing, rivalry, friendship, relationship, love, and unity. It has gone through everything, anything and nothing; through all that is and that is none.

Without Inkblotter, I would not have met the people I know today, seen the world the way I do now, or survived life at all. I would not have matured into the person I am now; grown into the kind of person I am now. I would not have become who I have become, nor would I have made this kind of difference in the world.

Without Inkblotter, I would not have been set on this search to find inspiration, passion and wisdom in a world full of false depth and contrived love. I would not have sought for more emotion, more devotion, more depth and fullness.

I would not be, and nothing of mine would be possible.

But of course, none of anything would be possible without anyone else.

I thank Eruanne, polarbarr, and Calandil, the bloggers whose blogs inspired me to create my own.

I thank kev r, the one who got me to create my own penname - literally, pen name - BlackIce.

I thank dez and Inkwell for being the inspirations for my blog URL and blog name.

I thank my Ate Hedz for introducing me to the inspiration that is Starbucks and giving me my first planner (which I sadly lost a few months ago), my first true journal and outlet.

I thank gryphoenix, mike s, orio, Sophomoric Philosopher, jeJo, beii, Vasanti, Gray, Eruanne, polarbarr, and Calandil, for being the most supportive and inspirational bloggers out there.

I thank gryphoenix, jill l, dr g, mike s, koko r, orio, neon a, Eruanne, Sir Martin, polarbarr, Calandil, beii, Vasanti, and Gray, my inspirations in flow of rhyme and lack of reason.

I thank Opal '09, the Pillowfriends, SCA, SK, KBC, Camia '09, the groups whom without I wouldn't be.

I thank Claret, for bringing me to the top and into Pisay. I thank Pisay, my true home. I thank Starbucks, my place of rest, happiness, inspiration, and much-needed coffee. I thank Blogger, without which I would not have begun blogging so easily. I thank Livejournal, for an alternate expression. I thank Neopets, Insaniquarium, TextTwist, Limewire, GBA and SNES emulators, and Windows Media Player for alternate distractions. I thank YM and Globe, my alternate communiations.

I thank all my teachers, past and present, for teaching me how to learn as I go. I thank my parents and family, whom without I would not be.

I thank neon a, kevin r, Eruanne, dez, jo d, and carlo, to whom I trusted everything I am and was; for being the shoulders I cried on; for being the ones to whom I opened up to when everything was lost.

I thank my friends outside of the virtual world, too many to mention in such little time and space. These people are any of the people who've followed me through the best and worst of my times, who has read my blog to the point of exhaustion. The people who are willing to reply when I text them. The people who talk to me without me beginning a conversation. The people who thank me even when the things I do aren't really that big to them. The people who appreciate my efforts, labor, and work. The people who call me by my name everytime they say "Hi" in the corridors. The people whom acknowledge my existence and do not hold anything against me. The people who love me.

I thank those whom I don't know, cannot remember, or cannot say, but have been just as supportive - or more so - than those that emerge in my mind. I treasure you all even more, because you are there as my mind passes over you - whoever you all are, I thank you.