15 bad reasons why I want to die now

  1. Nobody is talking to me; I'm on speaking terms with nobody. Puro "Hi." na lang. Tapos ang sama pa ng tingin ng mga tao sa 'kin. So I'm invisible now, or people just refuse to talk to me.
  2. Camia, post-Humanities Week, has no bragging rights. We didn't win anything except place 3rd in the Art fashion show. And it's all my fault. (People wanting to take this up with me, comment. I'll gladly show you why it's my fault.)
  3. I've had a throat infection, a slight fever, a pounding headache, and bigger eyebags since Tuesday. The throat infection isn't getting any better, the fever is getting worse, the headache is pounding harder, and my eyebags still haven't disappeared (since I went to Pisay, they never did go away).
  4. My CD player may be missing. Same with Inna's iPod charger. I'm responsible for both. I think they're both with Dem, but I can't be sure... And I might as well be fucking dead if I don't find both.
  5. I don't get Geom or Chem or Algeb. I'm going to fail.
  6. My class hates me for being a bossy, overbearing bastard. Ulit.
  7. The world is a scary place where people talk behind other people's backs, friendships aren't really true, and lies are what make up society. I don't want to live in a world na ganito.
  8. I'm almost always alone now. Nothing happened; it's just that I have no one to be with these days. Kahit with Anna.
  9. No one texts, and I can't text anyone - either because they're angry at me, or they really just don't text. Baka di na dapat ako mag-unli; bale wala rin naman eh. Buti pa 'ung mga ibang tao...
  10. Haven't done anything useful for anyone.
  11. No one is tagging, or commenting. Just a bit more to make me feel worthless, unnoticed and invisible.
  12. I think there's something wrong with my mind. I'm totally serious. Minsan I go into sorts of seizures or convulsions. Or minsan feel ko na i-untog ko ulo ko. I'm scared for my sanity and my self.
  13. I'm doubting.
  14. Carlo is sick. Of course everyone gets sick, but he actually texted people to pray for him. This is so fucking scary. Anong mangyayari sa kanya? If ever... Shit, ayoko pag-isipan...
  15. I'm failing God. Sobra. He knows it. Di pa 'ko umattend nung b-day celebration sa BRHM. Youth For Christ pa ba talaga ako? I mean, as I am now... I've almost totally turned away from Him...
Grabe, ang papansin ko, 'no? So damn pathetic...


Blogger Melancholy Sunrise said...

faith is not measured by how many services you attend.. it's the relationship with Him which counts...

my cellphone line is always open... all you need to do is text

9/09/2006 10:49:00 PM  
Blogger Eruanne said...

i'm sorry.

you do know that you can always come to me when you need help or whatever, right?

9/10/2006 02:04:00 PM  

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