1.29.2006

Beginning An End.

First, an explanation on why I haven't updated for so long...
Computer ban.

That was easy. Now for everything else. With Sub-blog-titles.

Failure
I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown because I'm afraid I'm going to fail Pisay. Not fail as in fail, but fail. Get it? No? Ok, how about this...

My English 1.0 may be lost forever (because of the war games)
My Filipino 1.75 will go even lower
My IS 2.0 will never go up
My Math 2.25 has even lower chances of doing so
My TechPrep is currently at a 1.25 from it's two-quarter 1.0

It hurts so much...my dreams of regaining DL status, lost and destroyed. The only intact part shattered to pieces.

Hatred
I hate the world right now for not hating me. They ignore me.
I want the world to cry and feel pain.
I want the world to know how my life feels - how being inadequate and hurt feels.
I want the world to feel hopelessness.
I want the world to know how it is, not being able to enjoy a cup of coffee.
I want the world to die with me.

Friendship?
I don't know if <> my friend. <> been warmer to me these past few weeks...not as cold as before. It feels good to be able to talk to <> once again. I just hope the monster raging within me doesn't end our friendship with the admission of guilt and a deadly obsession. If you're reading this, I hope you don't take this badly, <>. As Eru says, "I choose to hold you in my dreams, because in my dreams I can hold you forever." Don't leave me, friend.

Windows to the Soul
I look into your eyes and see
Look into my eyes and see
The love
The hate
The light
The hurt
The rain
The music you create
The words I create
The music I have heard
The words you have uttered
The times you've turned
The times I burned
Away.
Out of time. Next time na lang 'yung iba. Thanks for checking my blog.

2 Comments:

Blogger Eruanne said...

hey gigi... aaw, don't feel so sado-masoschistic (spelling??)... i, and many others, are trying their best to ease your pain...

kaya natin 'yan! we'll get through pisay!! ^^

hey, u like that quote too? that's the one i use for my blog title, heehee...

cheer up... i promise you, that blank under the Friendship? headings will never be... cuz i'll be here for you, as i always was.

hang in there, we'll get through this!

1/29/2006 07:28:00 PM  
Blogger Eruanne said...

hey gigi... aaw, don't feel so sado-masoschistic (spelling??)... i, and many others, are trying their best to ease your pain...

kaya natin 'yan! we'll get through pisay!! ^^

hey, u like that quote too? that's the one i use for my blog title, heehee...

cheer up... i promise you, that blank under the Friendship? headings will never be... cuz i'll be here for you, as i always was.

hang in there, we'll get through this!

1/29/2006 07:28:00 PM  

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